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About me

 

I'm Victoria.
Winner, fighter, survivor.

And I'm the proof,
that no matter what happened to you
or what you are currently dealing with,
you can win your life back
and you can overcome anything.

 

Perhaps you already know me from dozens of global covers of Playboy and FHM magazines, or from my appearances on TV, in newspapers, and across the internet as a high-profile model, actress, dominatrix, director, producer, and businesswoman.
Or, if you’ve followed my transition since 2023, you might recognize me as a life coach, therapist, and healer.

But in 2025, you might have noticed that I completely disappeared from social media and public life. Why?
Because I desperately needed quiet space. Space to fully focus on myself. Space to heal, recover, and finally become the woman I was always meant to be. I needed to get to the exact point where I was strong enough to share the unfiltered truth of my story with you.

For decades, the world looked at me and assumed I was living "the dream." To everyone else, I was someone who "had it all"—a wealthy, famous, beautiful, wanted, and highly admired celebrity living an easy life. But if you knew the reality behind the camera, you would understand why I wouldn't wish my life on anyone.

What the world saw was never the real me. It was a carefully crafted persona. A mask. An act designed to look, sound, and behave a certain way to fulfill other people's goals, to please them and to push their agendas.

Most people don’t realize that when we experience extreme trauma, grooming, programing, and conditioning, we are lead to be "perfect" and we accept that personas just to survive. Without even knowing why, we lock our true selves away because it's labeled as bad, as too much and not wanted. In these situations we have zero autonomy over our own minds, bodies, and lives. We are trapped in a corner with absolutely no way out

My persona was also born out of a desperate need to feel safe, seen, loved, and cared for.
It was a mask of flawless perfection, created to hide the terrifying pain, chaos, and emptiness underneath.

Even after I walked away from the adult and entertainment industries, the parts of myself I shared with the world were just a tiny fraction of the real me. Behind closed doors, I was just millions of shattered, broken pieces, desperately trying to figure out how to put them back together - all while forcing myself to stay strong, smiling and keep going.


Over thirty years of survival taught me a painful lesson: that the world didn't want the real me. I believed the only way to stay alive was to be exactly who they wanted me to be. To keep my head down, be a good girl, obey orders, silence my voice, and please everyone else.
Doing that kept me safe. It kept me alive. But it also kept me trapped in a silent prison.

The girl millions watched in magazines, tv, on phone was not real.
The girl millions loved and wanted was not real.

The real me was scared, lost, fighting for her life.
With no sense of who she is or her identity.

I was what others wanted me to be.

Did what others wanted me to do.

But not anymore.

I'm myself. I'm free.

 

 

 

The Nightmare Behind the Mask

I lived through a hell of anorexia, bulimia, and severe drug and alcohol addiction. I survived self-harm, self-destructive spirals, and multiple attempts to end my own life.

Since I was a little girl, I was brutally abused—physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I was trafficked, groomed, brainwashed, and programmed for one single, horrific purpose: to serve and please others.

I was raised to be an obedient object and a punching bag. I was forced to submit, play my part, stay quiet, and take the blows. I was raped, beaten, drugged, starved, and almost killed. I was threatened with death if I ever spoke up or fight back.

For over three decades, I was fighting a silent, desperate war for my life and a better future - while at the exact same time, a part of me desperately wanted to die.

I was scared, lost, entirely alone, and completely broken. A walking, smiling, performing, soulless robot who had no idea who she actually was.

 

 

The Road Back to the Light

But over the past four years, I made a decision. I dedicated my entire existence to changing my life. I poured all of my resources, money, time, energy, and attention into getting clean, studying, healing, growing, and reclaiming my body, my mind, and my voice.

I spent years doing the hard, expensive trial-and-error work so you don't have to.
I worked deeply with elite coaches, therapists, and psychologists. I traveled the world, went on sacred pilgrimages, worked with plant medicine, energy, and transcendental meditation. Most importantly, I learned from my teacher and mentor Eve van Dalen®, and finally trusted and followed my own guidance as well.

These four years of intense, daily dedication brought me right here to this moment: healed, alive, and ready to share my journey, experinces, knowledge and a roadmap with you.

You see, this story is not just about me. It is about you, and every single one of us who has ever struggled, fought just to survive the day, worried about what tomorrow might bring, or felt completely lost because we weren't allowed to be who we truly are.

It is a lifeline for everyone who has ever reached that terrifying point of thinking suicide was the only way out.
It is a voice for the silenced and for those who haven’t been able to speak up yet.

I found my way out of the pitch-black darkness. I survived. I won. And now? I am thriving. I am finally trully authentically myself. I am happy, and I am free. And more than anything else in this world, I want that exact same freedom for you, too.

So If any part of my story resonates with you, or if this pain feels all too familiar, I need you to hear me: You are not alone.

 

Please let this truth sink deep into your heart: the things that happened to you were real. The pain you felt or still feel was real. But absolutely none of it was your fault.

I love you. We are in this together. And you are going to be okay. 

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I am Victoria, I am victory.
The girl who survived hell and walk out victorious and untameable.

And this story is for us all.